Inggelish 101

Bercakap dengan Jin....*oops silap*..Bercakap dengan ahbeng lama2 agak membosankan. Oleh itu, hali ini wa mau tulis di dalam bahasa Inggelish. Di halap meleka yang amat pandai belcakap Inggelish boleh membelikan saya tunjuk ajar jikalau saya ada salah dan silap menulis...

Today I am fasting. I have fasting for almost sambilan hali...

I can tahan the drinking and eating, but I kenot tahan smoking. It is difficult. Yeaa..yeaa..I know smoking is no good. But what can I do. I am helpless. That is juzz me..But I have to be strongg...

When I hear the azan maghrib to open my fasting, I quickly puff-puff my marlboro light. Three or four puffs enough oleady to satisfy my smoke addict. Then I drink water. Water is veeeely refreshing. After that, I eat and then I eat summore until my stomak is full. Sometimes I feel like kenot breath becozz my stomak is too fullest.

Actually, I am a vely careful person with my physical appealance. My tall is 178cm. Last time in college, I weight about 65kg. I look vely delicious, especially when i go lollerblading wif friends or play stleet hockey. Gurls are clazy when they see my stomak becoz i have 6 pack. But now no more.

I only have one big pack :(

Gurls oso run away when they see me becos I look like a fat serial rapist.
Ever since then, I dont like to check my weight anymore. But just now, I was culious. I quickly check my body weight. And ohmygod! I weight 85 kg. That is no good becos before Lamadhan I weight only 82kg. Where did the extra 3kg comes from? I am confuse. I never cheat puasa. Me good-good boy wannn..

At first, I feel that I've been cheated. Maybe the mesin penimbang is wrong and lie to me again. But that cannot be becos I bought it in Ikea and seldom use it.

But ooops! Then I lemember..

Since past few days I have ploblem trying to shit. When I'm in the toilet, my shit dowan to come out. Hmmm...I wonder why.. Maybe my food lately not enough fibre. And i drink little water. So shit also become hard like stone. My fliends advice me better drink lotsa water and eat more sayurs and fruits or I'll get a sembelit. I think they are right. But can u imagine hard shit like that in your stomach can give you extra 3kg? I think not...

Then I lemember summore...

That day I eat at Pakeeza in PJ (moghul-cuisine restoren..Kerahi Beef with beriyani lice....) Yesterday I eat 2 bowl of lice with ayam masak gulai. Today I open my fasting at Bagan Seafood in Port Klang (Kam Heong Crabb 1kg....yummmmyy!!)... Tomolow I already plan with friend-friend to try Mcdonald eat-all-u-can-eat buffet for RM18 only.. This is no good. Fasting is supposed to reduce weight. But not likely is that the case for me.

Anyhow, my current weight explains why my seluar jeans feel like vely tight nowadays. I thought the washing machine has shrunk my seluar jeans again. Yes, the washing machine always like to shrink my clothings. That is why I dont like washing machines (and also mesin penimbang berat because always lie to me wann).

Apparently it is my waist that is the culprit! I feel sad. No prezzies in the world can cheer me up.
No wonder even my honda vtec also feels slow when I want to race that stupid riceboy in his GTI. Yes people. Believe it or not, your weight does effect your car performance too. The heavier your load, the more it'll consume your fuel, and the more slower your car will response when you want to do full-throttling. No amount of bling-bling stickers or big spoilers in the world can do your car hospowah any good. That's why they create this carbon fiber hood to...*nevermind that's another different story..* Just..dont question my words, I know what I'm talking about, okay?

So...

Dear lovely people,

Puasa is vely good for the body, mind and soul. But please dont be like me. You people must learn to eat little-little only when open your fasting. Or else, you will end up like me.

Even when no more puasa season and hali laya day comes, eat only when u hungry and stop eating before your stomak is fullest.

I have learn my lesson too late..

I was a fat ahbeng before.
I am a fatter ahbeng now.. :((

Now I want to go look for arms to cly on...
Dank you.


What you say people? Pliszz give your nice komen...
*hugs!*

Oh yes! If you like my stoly, do sign-up the SPCA petition or I will quit blogging becos I despise people who dont have any heart for animals that can't be eaten..

(Urghh!! Manyiak sakit pelut.. Wa lasa wa punya kam heong ketam sulah mau keluar wooo!!)