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Thursday, October 27, 2005

Angpao Is Nice

I always believe if u do nice things to others, then others will oso do nice things to you. This is vely true especially with our nice police force.

Last time aa, I drive my car speeding 90km/h.

(I drive slow-slow rilex only unless I have emergency to pee)

A police man stop me, ask why i drive fast-fast wann. I answer nicely where got fast, I drive slow maaa 90kmh only. Then he said this road speed limit 80km/h.

(StoOpid Sri Hartamas highway? - Very big, no many car, but speed limit only 80km/h. WTF? not nice leyy!)

I said haiyoo didnt notice. Anyway this policeman is nice. I give him some money and he nicely tell me next time dont do it again. I thank the nice policeman for his nice advice.

(I told u already. U nice to people, people nice to u also)

Another last time aaa, I kena tahan, but the policeman not so nice. Straight away give me certificate. But I dont blame him. That time his big boss was around.

(and you know laa how big bosses sometimes can be an ass. They think they got nice genius blain..know evelything and treat staff like superman everything also must do this do that. )

So I can undertand the policeman situation; not easy to help me out. If his boss was not around i'm sure that nice chap can help me wann.. My heart very painful because if i know will kena saman, I would have hantam kao-kao 180++km/h, want to saman then saman laa at least my heart satisfy wann.

(and at least can proudly show my friends new speed record for my car in that certificate - they sure lespek ahbeng car zoom-zoom fast worr!)

My other friend pun penah kena but luckily for him the polis that stop him is a nice police. After my friend give nice angpau, the police say "ok..halal ye encik".. siap ada lafaz jual-beli wa cakapluu...

(again, u nice and people nice oso)

Hali laya is near oleady. Damn Them polises also want to celebrate laya working overtime. They salary where got enough wann. Got wife to buy nice new cloths, got nice childrens to feed. Need to decorate their house with nice blink-blink lights for laya summore...That's why they accept nice donation from nice people. You people also must be nice to the police aa.. If u want to speeding fast-fast, you should prepare some nice angpao to donate to the nice polise that stop you. That way u can stay out of not nice problem.

(and u also get pahala menderma in fasting month.. Dabel whammy!)

And talk about polis angpao, also got level. You drive small car can donate for as low as rm50. If you a student, got student's discount summore! I think my friend last time still student, donate rm10 still can accept worr.

(So who said police are not fair?)

But that was few years back. Now not sure if the market rate has gone higher or not. Just lemember laaa if you drive bigger car, angpao also must be bigger.

(Haiyahhh cincai kira dont be stinggy laa. You taiko u must donate like taiko lor)

That is why you always see big-big nice-nice taikos in big-big nice-nice cars in north-south highway can drive vely-vely fastest. They help police, so police help them lorr..

My other-other friend once said; PDRM = Polis Dera Rakyat M'sia

I dont believe his words.

(I also think he gay)

I really think policeman are bunch of nice people who'll help you out of trouble if you give them nice-nice angpao. Indirectly, this teach you to be a nice citizen that like to help others in need.

(i.e donating your money to the needy people)

Remember, even our teachers in primary school already teach you donating is a nice habit because u contribute to society. So you must practice it. Nice?

True or not? What u think laa wey?

48 comments:

Ely said...

i can say that my family also give angpow to the traffic polis when we travel to malaysia. i wonder if police in singapore do the same...hmmm. i know a few kena fired for taking donations. so far tak pernah pulak i jadi the 'donater' cos i did have lesen then.

the company i work for here does not even allow food and flower donations from our customers just because we're nice.

entahlah ah beng, gua pun takda right or wrong answer.

cincaiboncai said...

now ah..got discount you know..if you were fined for RM300, you can get discount for 50% I tell you..Only if you 'langgar' the red light they don't give discount..not fair woorrrr..cannot la like datttt..

pycnogenol said...

It's nice to know there are nice people like Ah Beng, who will do nice things to nice policemen in this nice country of ours.
Have a nice day everybody !!

Leen Ash Burn said...

one time ahh i tok-tok on the fone no hef handsflee one. and then ar, i saddenli see this polis car behind me flash-flash lite. so ah i stop lorr. then the nice polisman oso ask me why i tok on the fone. i say lor femili emegency maaah, got lelative go hospital wan. so arr he pusing-pusing like he wan to tell me lor, plis gif him nice angpow peket fast-fast. so ah i so ilitated, bekos i piss ah, my hse only 1 minute away only yew want to stop me one. i told them lorrr - i show my wallet and tell lar i hef only RM5 wan to gif them also i think tak bebaloi one.

so not so nice polisses gif me certificate oso lorrr

may said...

the best nation in the world is "do-nation". heh.

Desparil said...

ah beng,

can donate some money to me ah? my house no bling bling yet wor. tq ah ah beng..

A Babe Of Very Little Brain said...

i do very selective donation. for police, i take certificates. anytime, anywhere ...

"cepat bang, mana surat saman? nanti saya settle kat balai, takde hal punya."

pak lah would love me maaaaaaaaaannn!!!! tok det also.

toots said...

Polis tipu!
I dun wanna give them angpow coz i oso need angpow.

Next time when u wanna give angpow to the cops, make sure u give me ten percent (at least).

Oke aaa? Deal aaa?
My acc number is 4444 5555 6666 12.
Oke?

Cun.

stone said...

aiyohhh apekkk..lu suda konpius sama itu delma dengan itu lasuah wooo. itu polis tara payah kasi itu delma punya. baik lu kasi anak buah lu itu angpow lagi itu budak manyakkk syiokk wooo. lagi kasi itu macam lu jadi feveret uncle wann

bertique said...

ah beng aa .. lu kennot donate liddat maa .. if lu buat aa itu bukan donate oledi .. but if lu mau kasi gua, gua manyak suka terima punya walaupun gua bukan polis.

wa rasa aa ah beng ada la lebey baik lu simpan aja itu duit, amik aja itu certificate of endorsement yg lu sulah bawak laju .. nanti aa balik rumah, ni jam aa laya somemore lu tau tak .. lu buleh gantung itu certificate fi luang tamu utk rakan2 lu serta beberapa tikus yg keji utk meliatkan ketereran lu pandu keleta.

wa ingat aa .. itu alonso jugak mau lespek sama lu tau .. alex yoong ?? jgn celita dia la, suluh dia jadi pengacara sukan pun tatak pandai, lagi mau suluh lacing-lacig ka??

akhir kata wa sulah lupa apa mau kat.

9 said...

haiya, lu manyak lasuah punya olang. ala manyak busuk. mau pak lah kasi hentam sama lu.

jangan malah aa ah beng. walaupun u seekor kucing yang keji, tetapi lu tetap menjdai pujaan hati-ku.

chevy said...

waa ahbeng lu manyang baik lor kasi itu polis angpow...tapi arr itu talak baik punya..macam lu mengalakkan itu polis makan duit halam..itu polis pun manyak bodoh kasi anak makan duit halam...aiyaksss macam mana mau selamat hidup..kecik2 sudah makan duit halam...i never give police duit halam punya....saya pinat keje apa pasat saya mau sedekah itu polis...saya lagi lela bayar compound..

kepala_angin said...

oh i don't know, to choose bw a rm50 duit kopi or a compound of rm300. hmm, yg manakah menjadi pilihan??

Inn said...

the last time a policeman stopped me i was driving 150-160kmph about 2 years ago. my grandma was in a critical condition in JB hospital so i wasnt thinking straight. i just wanted to be by her side. so i told the policeman. if he wants to saman then go ahead. i know it was my fault but cepat2 sikit, dont delay me any longer.

he was really nice to let me off with an advice. better i get to grandma in one piece. slow down. speed kills.

Wong Ah Beng said...

Ely... ur family s'porian?

cincaiboncai.. 50% mehh? Meeeega karnival sale woo...

pycnogenol.. u nice person :)

ahLeen.. hiyaah..of kos laa..u not nice only want to give RM5. Thats why the police dont help u. Next time be nicer maaahh..

may.. "do-nation"...niceeeeee...

desparil.. u policeman aah? If not policeman i dont donate to youu wann..

Wong Ah Beng said...

babe.. waa u kaki lari keleta jugak eh? how many certificate u got oready ?

toots.. u ok sweetie..? Demam eh?

stone.. Anak buah pun mau kasik angpao..Polis pun mau kasik angpao...Itu toots dan bertique juga mintak angpaoo... Wa boleh bangkrup ini macam woo..Eh tapi aaa..jikalau kasik angpao sama anak buah bukan lasuah juga mehh?

bertique.. of kos laa..jikalau lu kasik angpao sama wa pun wa suka telima juga..

Wong Ah Beng said...

9.. Itu lasuah adalah jikalau lu mau plojek sama gomemen aa, lu kasik itu oficer luit supaya lu dapat itu kontract lorr...itu balu lasuah.. ini angpao kasik poliss maa.. Mana ada plojek boleh dapat punya. Talakk untunnggg..

chevy..lu taiko manyak luit maaaa...boleh bayar itu kompaunn, talak hat laa...wa cuma vcd peddler saje talak cukup duit mana boleh bayar kompaunn.. Kasik angpao ok maahh..

kepala angin..dont forget aa...if student got special student rate!

inn..that police is super-nice... He give u nice advice for free..Very rare-rare nowadays..u lucky woo..

anisism said...

i manyak keji punya orang. coz my grandma dies everytime. heh. my grandma (who's not at all close to me) died in 1997, but she has been dying again and again and again for every single time the blardy police stops me. so i didn't get to flash my dazzling + cheeky smile nor kiss the police's forehead tenderly with lotsa lurve, because gerenti lepas..because everytime kena tahan i'll go "sorry lah encik, nenek saya meninggal, orang tengah tunggu saya je nih".....

*pioneer tak pioneer lah aku nih. memang hopeless and effortless, i tell you!*

Wong Ah Beng said...

anisism..wa serender...lu memang yang paling terkeji.. *kao taow 5x*

anisism said...

keji pon keji lah.
but i still have flair.
that you will HAVE to admit.

*grin*

Wong Ah Beng said...

anisssm... haha ok kasik cann laaa.

Ely said...

yes ah beng parents and family singaporean.

grandparents indonesian.

husband american.

kids singaporean.

Miss YY said...

Ada sekali itu PLUS Highway police tahan wa... dia kata wa punya plate kereta manyak fancy (small letterings)!!! (**not because I was driving fast... 180km/hr**) Lepas tu dia tanya kalau wa 'orang istana'. Wa kata mau saman, saman ajor lorrr... no big deal! Wa apak kasi settle punya... free of charge!
Itu pasai taiko taiko mana ada kasi ang pow punya. Itu polis manyak takut sama itu taiko lorrrr. Lagipun buang itu keletas & masa tulis itu saman.

Ah Beng aaahhh.. lu jadi taiko lorrr...

RaNdoMHEarTsOfArMylla said...

aduh wong ah beng....you are very the funny la....i have the bloginson syndrome because of people like u orrr...manyak kelaka....hilang wa punya stress ooooo

banyak blog itu moody2 ...nangis2 punya celita2...kutuk2..busuk2....lu punya blog2 busuk2 pun busuk kucing miow2 aja...jadi olang manyak suka...

lu suduh bikin wa jatuh cinta ....bloginson syndrome..wa punya score sudah lebih rating ...habis la wa...

RaNdoMHEarTsOfArMylla said...

ohh wong ah beng..lupa...
kalau orang perempuan a...tak perlu donate money...donate senyum2 sikit...tarik2 baju lepas bahu sikit..
hehhe...boleh jalan...

waa punya cerita aaa...

polis mintak phone number..waa kasi...
mau kasi tipu2 punya number..waa takut...nanti dia kasi test no...kalau tipu nanti tiket juga dapat
lepas itu aa...die ada telepon2...wa kasi cerita tipu sama dia kata wa sudah ada husband..aiyoo..susah oo ini macam..

atasya said...

first time aa ah beng..wa kena tahan pukul 11 mlm...itu polis talak mintak angpoa...dia mintak itu phone numbah and address...wa tanya itu nice polis man...dia mau utk apa...dia kata dia mau telefon my mom nak confirm kalau wa ni lari dari rumah...haa??

2nd time...wa kena tahan di pekan, pahang..masa tuh wa blur2 meh...wa talak buat salah apa2....itu polis man suruh wa tunjuk lesen keleta...disebabkan wa mau cepat...wa tunjuk sama itu polis man sticker mahkamah..lepas itu...that nice polis man bagi jalan...

since insiden no 2...wa belum pernah lagi kena saman hehe

Desparil said...

ah beng,

bukan polis pun mau kasi bling-bling sama rumah.. aiya, jangan kedukut la.. vcd apa latest?

chi chi girl said...

ah beng horr...itu abang saya juga polis tapi tara mau tolong saya settle itu certificate jugak.. apa mau bikin ini maciam ?? huaaaaa

anisism said...

hello polis angkasa gaban. yikes.

A Babe Of Very Little Brain said...

i only got one certificate of appreciation and gratification from the polis force. kerana penggunaan telefon mudah alih ketika memandu. saya memandu tidak pernah memecut kecuali bila sudah lambat mahu pergi airport.

Leen Ash Burn said...

gosh...you're so kewl. juzt kewl.

Zed said...

hmmm bribing policemen now are we??? will be looking for the ah beng's car and give certificate already...

heh heh you are not helping us get rid of these "dirty" cops who also lets go of drunk drivers, speeding rich kids and lorry drivers which ends up killing people (and cats too!)

cheers.

lu laya kah kucing?

Wong Ah Beng said...

ely... waa multiracial aa lu..lespek..lespek..

missYY.. itu taiko gengsta boleh maa.. kasik kumpul2 keletas saman bila ada opelasi sekali bayar..boleh juga.

randomheartsofarmyila... polumpuan mau talik2 baju lepas bahu sikit pun kene lihat dulu..jikalau lupa talak cunn aa, mungkin tiada berkesan. Itu ada lah tektik keji yg hanya berkesan sekilanya lu ada barang bayekk punya. hehe

atasya..apapasat lu ada sticket mahkamah? lu loyer meh?

Wong Ah Beng said...

desparil.. vcd Kehilupan Seolang Blogger Terlampau....lu mau ka?

chi-chigirl.. Ohh itu adalah kelana abang lu melupakan seolang yg bersemangat tinggi serta cekal dan integlasi tinggi..

anisism.. hoh? lu apa hat?

babe.. wow...Isn't that we called an achievement people? WooHoooo!

leen.. bedwazzle bebeh! Yippiyay!

zed.. hehehe..nak hidup bang..
wattodo..Malaysia Boleh Larr!!

Lollies said...

oh I never donate I the very the taik hidung masin. I wink wink smile smile sure ok onee..but if polis pompuan..I take cert lah.

You oso can try purring, maybe that helps

Elina said...

donation...tak pernah wa pikir maciam tu. tapi sapa mau kasi angpao sama wa? wa pun desperately in need of donation...?

anggerik merah said...

Wong aa...

Mau mintak angpao boleh ka??

Wong Ah Beng said...

lollies... haha..ok nanti wa cuba

elina/anggelikmelah.. lu kasik bogel dulu, wa consider kasik angpau...haha

anisism said...

la la la aaalaaalalaaaa lalaa lal aaalaaa laaa...

sr said...

Ah Beng aaaa.

Donate manyiak bagus maa.. tp lali pada lu donate samer itu polis, manyiak lebih pahala lu sedekah sama yg betut memerlukan maa... macam olang kena earthquake kaa, takde makan ka.... sama wa kaa :) kekeke

Selamat Hali Layee, maap kezahiran kebatinan. Kilim angpao ok

torqxic inc. said...

ahbeng!
a few times in my lifetime i respect sama polis, oso a few times in my lifetime i totally don't repect sama polis....regardless they are just doing their job or what...diolang punyer gaji siapa bayar maa? kita juga kasu bayar apa? kulang2 kalau mau ckp dgn kita mesti ckp sopan2 laa sikit baru laa org buleh kasi respek sikit.

tonite i had another disrespect to the polis people....was driving back home with family and at this particular trafficlight (2 in very short stretch, the final one going into the GrandSagaHighway) this one policeman in Trooper sudah tahan sama satu Kancil (maybe Kaum Riceboy boloo - lowered semacham, tinted semacham & exzos size boleh sumbat kerbau pendek 2 ekor punya.... haiya, mmg sah meh..definitely Kaum Riceboy boloo lah!). The polis tahan right after the 1st traffic light, so org kain kena la cilok to pass the Kancil & Trooper. Depan sikit saja sudah another traffic light, and got double line a few meters before the light. So how? cross the double line laa sebab cilok the stupid Trooper.
Tara akai betui, kalau dia mau mintak duit raya kaa angpow kaa kasi parking betul2 side of the road laaa...
Satu kali sama machiam pemandu bas ni bandaraya kita juga....berhenti mau kasi turun or angkat passanger bukan mau berhenti betul2 dekat space bus stand, got yellow line for bus also what? Lagi mau berhenti di tengah jalan jua, sulah angakt penumpang turun/ naik, mau jalan buakn ala kasi signal, hantam jalan sahaja, olang lain pula kena stop and bagi jalan sama diolang bas punya drivere, apa itu jalanlaya bapak diorang punya bikin ka? kalau ya, pasti kaya gila itu bapak, sebab aaa gua pun bayar cukai jalan, lu pun bayar cukai jalan, pasti bapak dia sulah collect untuk bikin jalan, pasti bapak dia loaded laa kalau itu machiam, tapi apahat dia jadik pemandu bas sahaja?
tara akai punya case, otak kasi taruh dalam jamban punya olang, same difrerence sama itu polis trooper...
teonaseng!

RaNdoMHEarTsOfArMylla said...

hahaha..couldn't agree more...

tapi aaa...kadang2 mereka tadak kira..asal perempuan aja...mereka fikir barang bayek...ape barang pun..busuk ka ..kurap ka...(hey kucing..lu tarak kurap kan?..hehe)...

sebab mereka tahu...barang mereka pun bukan bayek sangat...:)

Wong Ah Beng said...

anisism.. malilah melala..

sr.. dan adalah lebih bayek sekilanya lu mendonate kepada saya sebelapa manyiak yang lu mampu.. cash or check lua-lua wa terima...but no cledit kad aar!

torqxis.. hoihyoo..lu bikin lumah sendili aa lu..ahah..Wa tau lu sure manyiak sakit hati selepas itu kejadian.. Tapi tidak apa...sabar sahaja lor..masuk ini site kasi lu hati sejuk sket..eheh..

randomheartsofarmylla...
Sedangkan lidah lagi tergigit, ini kan pula balang busuk dan berkulap..
Apa barang busuk dan kulap pun adalah tetap balang juga..
Contoh aa...Itu petai busuk tapi olang makan juga..apa hat?
wa lagi kucing mahal talak kulap wehh..lu jangan tuduh sembalangan..
Wa tiuuu sama lu.. :D

Ad Iz said...

Haha...I love your blog man! It's funny, honest and crazy at the same time. You've got another fan!
Cheers.

Vlad said...

Yunus will never donate to the policeman.

Until today he never get saman. Because the motive of stopping people is actually wanting people to donate only.

The pigs.

RaNdoMHEarTsOfArMylla said...

haha...manyak pandai la lu kucing...kucing suka gigit gigit...

tapi aa..penat la bayar saman...walaupun dapat 50% diskaun....masa diskaun baru semua orang pergi bayar...lagi-lagi hari last..beratur manyak panjang...8 jam ooo dari awal pagi...system crash lagi tak kira...bila merungut...orang bikin rungut balik sama lu..."apa pasat tadak bayar awal-awal?"...bayar awal-awal means bayar donation la huh?..lagi baek...tak payah beratur...

Wong Ah Beng said...

ad iz.. Dankyuu..Wa punya blog 75% Crap Full..hehe

(ad iz <-- hensemboy... Girlss!!!)

vlad.. u go tell yunus aa, his primary teacher sure sad if she knows that.
Tishk.. Malaysian education nowadays..

randomheartsofamiliar.. Sekalang jaman high-tech.. jikalau lu tamau donate, lu boleh bayar saman secala online maaa..tidak perlu belatur panjang2...hehe

Ic3dLatt3 said...

u seriously sincere writing tis one meh?
never get caught yet, just flash.. *my nice smile la* & free to go oledy heheh..
still want to comment tho tis n3 already 3 months old.


Kiss my asss!!