Pay Your Homage...Now Feed Me!!

Monday, December 26, 2005

Spam e-male

Google Definition: spam

"...Spam refers to electronic junk mail or junk newsgroup postings. Some people define spam even more generally as any unsolicited e-mail. In addition to being a nuisance, spam also eats up a lot of network bandwidth. Because the Internet is a public network, little can be done to prevent spam, just as it is impossible to prevent junk mail. However, the use of software filters in e-mail programs can be used to remove most spam sent through e-mail..."

I like junkmail very-very much. Junkmail makes me feel glamer and popular. I feel proud everyday I login my email account and I receive 100++ new mails. Imagine if you check your email and you got few email only (or none at all). I sure you feel sad wann. As if nobody want to friend with you. Poor twerp! Har har.

I dunno where these junkpeoples that send all the junkmail got my email address. I kenot remember subscribing to them at all. But anyway, I feel thankful becos they like to fill my mailbox - at least I dont feel sad becos no mail in my mailbox. If u got no email in your mailbox, then you are loser, just like u blog but nobody want to read your blog or give komen...Loser! har har.

Also, with junkpeople, I dont have to initiate the first contact for them to email me (unlike blogging where I have to komen on other people's blog before they feel obligated to komen mine). The junkpeople are oso dengg clever. They will send junkmail to me even if I change my email address. But the best part I like is dat I dun even have to reply to them. In fact, i no need to read oso. I just click delete...delete...delete...and delete.

Sometimes I wish chickas are like junkpeople too; I dun have to email them first, they will persistently email me promoting their...whatevernots.. even if I changing my email oso they can find me. Now that would be cool eh?

After a while aaa, I getting more boring already with junkmail. Beside getting tired to press-press the delete button, them junkpeople oso keep sending me the same junkmail again and another again. Imagine if you read the same junkmail everyday, just like you read the same blog everyday same story no new apdet, sure you feel angry waann.. Sto0pid junkpeople so lazy to update their stories. Too maa fan to apdet issit??

I oso starting to think these junkpeoples who repeatedly send their junkmails are sto0pid people. Below I listed some of the different type of junkmails I always receiving, and why I think they are sto0pid:
"Penis enlargement"
This is the number 1 usual junkmail I receive in my mailbox. This junkpeoples are very persistent, always send me emails giving me promo prices for their penis enlargement tools. I told them oleady i dont need their product. My item is big, no need bigger-bigger. Too big in fact, that I started thinking what i really need is a tool that can reduce my item to normal size so other male dont get jeles of me. These junkpeople are not solving my ploblem! But nooooo.. They never listen wann.. The next day, they send me more penis enlargement emails again...Soo stoopid laa they all! I want to make it smaller a bit..not bigger! Sto0pid!

"Herbal viagra"
Who needs expensive viagra when we have similar products very cheap-cheap price summore? You can go to any 24hrs mamak stall and buy Kopi Tongkat Ali, Kopi Jantan, Ali Kuat, dan belbagai2 jenama kopi kuat lagi. Lihat poster kopi jantan di mana ada gambar pakcik2 tua yang amat tua sedang meminum minuman berkasiat tersebut. Bandingkan dengan gambar2 viagra di mana gambarnya adalah lelaki2 muda sahaja yang menelan pil itu. Lu lasa which ploduct lagi power; kopi jantan atau viagra pills? Of kos kopi jantan! Very old people (drinking kopi kuat instead of viagra pills) kenot be wrong maaa.. I'm sure your mom oso told u to listen to old folks. You dont be sto0ppid ok!

"Fix-A-Fat. Buy 3, 1 Free!"
Diet pills, fat burners, ephedra, carb blocker, weight loss supplement, diet patch, thermogenics, fat-loss catalysts, metabolic enhancers...Pick your poison. This junkmail hurted my feelings a lot. I oready know I'm fat. They dun have to imply to me that I'm fat laa.. Not nice! That's why I reply back to them saying I think they are rude. I dun like rude people. But of kos, they never listen wann.. Keep sending me more "you-are-fat-so-please-buy-our-pills" junkmails. Sto0pid rude people!

"Get a College Degree Quick and Easy"
These junkpeople are 8 years too late. I oready got my degree (the slow and hard way). I replied to them saying you junkpeople are sto0pid you should send the junkmail to me a long2 time ago before I even considering to go to college. But they keep sending me more junkmail. So I was right again - they are sto0pid!

"Work at Home and Earn XXX a Week!"
First of all, I dun like to work at home. This is because, if I work at home then I have to do the work myself. I prefer to work in my office where I can tell people to do my work instead. See? I'm clever, not sto0pid! I've already told them that. Guess who's sto0pid now you sto0pid junkpeople!

Now aaa, I dont like sto0pid junkmail from sto0pid junkpeoples anymore. When I receive junkmail, I dunno wheather to laugh or cry. After a while, i feeling like to beat the shit out of these sto0pid junkpeoples for sto0pidly junking my stoOpid mailbox...

But they are very sto0pid they didnt know I just delete their sto0pid junkmails. If they know this, sure they angry wannn. Dont believe me aa? Well if you send me email and u found out I just delete your mail without even reading it, you sure get angry riteee?? Har har bengbeng soo clever cat! PisS on youu..!

Ok, I need to check my sto0pid mailbox now.
Sekian, telima kaseh.

50 comments:

torqxic inc. said...

SPAM!!

torqxic inc. said...

hehehe SPAAAAMMM!!!!!

torqxic inc. said...

S
.
P
.
A
.
M

SPAM!!

SSSSPPPAAAMMM!!!

har har har har!

Anonymous said...

beng, selalunya lah kan..lelaki yang kata dia punya bird-bird tu besar,sebenarnya kecik kan? thats why you have to tell ppl that yours is big.

anisism said...

the only thing i compute is:

your item is big oledy that u need to make it smaller a bit.

izzzzziiiiittt beng beng.......i tell u how to make it smaller and perhaps NOT function at all after this. go taste her kick. ;p

may said...

ahbeng ah, dun so anger la... tell you what, u SPAM them back, hahaha!

mobilemom said...

Wah meow meow...17x you type the word "stoopid" in one entry!! You must be one angry meow meow meh!!??

You try go change your iams flavor la. Who knows you can diet and kecut a bit? You no like frieskies meh or sicence diet meh?

Woman look for kacip fatimah and whatnots. You try find got kacip ali. Maybe can kecut kecut hor!!?? Hehehehehehheheh

Wong Ah Beng said...

torqxic inc..
*DELETE*

torqxic inc..
*DELETE*

torqic inc..
*DELETE*

dear mr.torqxic..
Please dont spam me bcos I'm still confuse. What is "leica"? it sounds gay-ish though. bwuahahaha! >:p

Wong Ah Beng said...

anony..
Talks are cheap. Would u like to see the real deal instead? Wa gelenti lu kepuasan hati :D

anisism..
How cum dat's the only thing u compute mehh? Would u like to upgrade ur memory another 512MB RAM?
hardy har har.. Cum ere notty gurl, lemme spank u silly and probably i'll let u taste my..kick.. or whateve :o

may..
Dun worryy...I'm no angerr. I smiling all the way while writing that entry. Uhh..what's your favorite month? Mine is "May" :|

nubilemom..
Rumor has it that kacip fatimah products will have an adverse effect on guys - it mengetatkan lubang jubur instead. Issit true?
btw, are you nubile? :?

mobilemom said...

Meow meow, you make me want to pull your whiskers lor!! Why you so shomel ahh? Can I introduce you to my "twinkle"? She very fat and gebu also but not persian like you. She mix persian and domestic only. Want or not????

As for kacip fatimah effect on guys, honestly ahh I dunno lor. If you try first them you tell me lor?
I thought ahh if got kacip fatimah must got kacip ali one...don't have meh?

Then again talking about lumour ahh..I heard you also belong to the irc world err..many many moons ago? Could this be "jejak kasih" session oso meh?

Me nubile? You want me to be nubile also can!! You inquisitive izzziittt? ;)

zuhri said...

ah beng, pakailah spamguard, tak pun mudguard or lifeguard katy stalingard

la femme écrivain said...

bengbeng..after xmas u back to being keji aaaa....

bad cat!c'mere!
*spank! spank!

Wong Ah Beng said...

nubilemom..
twinkle? Hmm..do entice me summore. I might surrender to temptation. Me-ooowww!
Rumormongers abundance...Were u referring to that oldskool, shitty looking text-based communication tools in the early 90's? neway, hush-hush now. I wont mention your nickname if u dont mention mine. Be nice, ok hot momma? ;p

p/s: email me tho. I'ld like to touch base with my long-lost...acquaintances. I plomise I wont delete your mail

Wong Ah Beng said...

zuhri..
Dankyu for the suggestions but spamguard? mudguard?pakguard? I'm lost.. I'm sooo not IT :(

la femme..
UUuuhh spanky! I bet I'm giving u more fun than ur green friends Surti and Terjo. Can I kick them just for fun, to show you how notty I can be sumtimes? :p

mobilemom said...

meow meow, ah yes..that old skool text base communication tools in the early 90's indeed. May it rest in peace!

What is your email lor? Unless you e-mail me than I know your e-mail lor. My e-mail is listed on my blog page mah!

chics said...

I oso don like junk mails.anatara yg i don like is the mail from a guy yg cakap kunun-kunun aku inherit harta diela..

ape kejela..
itu orang lagi keji dari kutu kucing k..

Lizzam said...

S - Stupid
P - Persisting
A - Annoying
M - Messages

now i've written my comment on ur blog, u need to write on mine...hahaha

no spam please

Wong Ah Beng said...

nubilemom..
Resting In Puurrfect Peace indeed. Lets keep it dat way shall we? So do tell, what's your long-lost secret identity? (in email,of kos) ;p

chics..
haha wa pun penah menelima surat wasiat tersebut..I guess, we share the same dis..pleasure..for junkmails, eh? :)

lizzam..
Dang! wa ingat baru mau spam your kommenspace..ahah.. Btw, lu punya gambar damn scarry woo..no shit! :p

la femme écrivain said...

the only one who can kick surti n terjo is me.

u kick them,i'll spank YOU harder!
since u like spanking so much..
grrr...

Wong Ah Beng said...

la femme..
has anyone mentioned u look sexy when u're angry? Grrr..

Cik Puan Muda Stress said...

started to sound like a fetish site to me...
*wink wink*
iris memang ske.. nyways, are you just into orange fury animals or ladies can apply too? guys gimme rashes la..
har har.

paRoe said...

SPAM baik untuk kesihatan. Lu buley eksersais tangan, dengan mendelete itu SPAM satu persatu. OK what.. ????

pinky angel said...

ab beng..lu slalu SPAM olang juga what??
lu komen blog olang kdg2 tidak ada kene mengena dgn itu topik. Suka hati lu mau tulis apa

keji punya kucing.i'll help iris 2 spank u.*spank!spank!

9 said...

wei kucing olen, jgn lupa ala satu spam yang dihantar oleh pelempuan seksi.

biasanya lia akan tanyer sama u jikalau u mau kissing2 sama lia... tetapi kena beli lu punya kledit kad punya. ini adalah satu mel yg niema cauhai.

WLady said...

mr. miaww..
ur blog really put back smile on my face. u r a funny cat!

mobilemom said...

Meow Meow puss puss....

Dua tiga kucing berlari
Duduk depan PC main IRC
Seekor hilang tah mana pergi
Rupa-rupanya dia menyorok kat sini

Wahh jejak kasih lagi!!!!!

Hai meow meow...sungguh keji sungguh keji!!! :P

p.s
nanti wa letak gambo "twinkie" wa.. tapi kalau lu mau bawak dia keluar...solly ah..dia tak makan iams..only science diet thank you!!

kookabooras said...

gua igtkan pasal org nak isap rokok member "SE PAM" tp kebas sebatang.

Wong Ah Beng said...

cik puan muda stress..
Applicable to ladies oso..But please discontinue use if swelling or rash develops..ahah. So what's your fetish? :D

paroe..
Eksersais tangan? Apa pasat bunyi lain maciam sahaja..ho ho ho.. ;>

kinky angel..
Kelebihan seolang ahbeng adalah keupayaan untuk komen apa sahaja di mana sahaja..err lu pun mau join la femme spanking me? Do tell when it's my turn yah.. ;P

9..
Ooo itu p0rn aa..manyiak talak best kene pakai kledit kad dahulu. Semua pun mau uwang jua.. Lu ada acc ka? kasik tong-tong sama member laa >:D

Wong Ah Beng said...

wlady..
Did the sun just come out, or did you just smile at me?

nubilemom..
eyy lu talak pelasan ke, science diet bau dia tengik sangat aa...boo-sook ok.. series! btw, when will u be posting twinkie's nude pictures? Do update me :)

kookaburas..
Ahah..SEPAM! Wa pun selalu pow sepam lokok bila sendili sulah talak stok.
spam is bad but sepam is goood.. :>

Cosmic_GurL said...

Beef Spam takder ke Ah Beng? :p
And stop calling me orgasmic! Wa takder selera la dgn lu Ah Beng...hehehe

RojakBuah said...

beng, gua byk dpt yg jual jam..ayyaaa...manyak susah woo..delete saja..

Wong Ah Beng said...

comic_gurl..
(I'll stop calling u orgasmic...at least,for now) So do tell bebeh, what would you like me to call u?
Btw, you can call me Wong. That's so you know what to scream :)


rojakbuah..
Jual jam masih ok lagi.. wa hari ini dapat this spam: "Try Colon Cleansing At Home!"

A Babe Of Very Little Brain said...

ahbeng, sapa kata lu gemok? itu hari gua main cocok-cocok lu punya tummy, tadak rasa lemak lebih-lebih.

i told you already aaah, next time when you want to stand in front of the mirror, you must find the good angle lor.

Wong Ah Beng said...

babe..
uhh babe..your words are too kind. Wa akan mencuba carik angle cermin tersebut.
btw, I cannot comment on your beauty for fear of Aphrodite striking you down in jealous rage...

mobilemom said...

puss puss..

As you requested. She's in my latest entry. So you gonna ask my fur-ball out for a date meh?

Cosmic_GurL said...

Arghhh!!! My heart is paining!! Comic gurl la pulak! U can call me Goojas babe, Ah beng :p

kookabooras said...

SEPAMBAT = NAK SEPAM JE, TP REMBAT SEBATANG
SEPAMTAK = REMBAT NGAN KOTAK SEKALI
SE'RIBU'PAM = MEMANG JENIS BERENTI (BELI) ROKOK TP STILL ISAP.
SEPAMBAN = MENGEPAM ROKOK DALAM JAMBAN
SPAM KEDERANG = TANYA ORG TERENGGANU

A Babe Of Very Little Brain said...

wei ahbeng, where's your new girlfriend? apa nama dia? jasmine79? you locked her up in some wardrobe somewhere ka?

Lizzam said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Lizzam said...

wah...lu in heat ka?sampai mobilemom pun mau kasi mate sama dia punya cat. wa pun ada cat tau..lu mau ka?kaler ijau.campur lu kaler olen boleh jadi kalerful!!

kalu lu suka variety wa ada kekura.bole wa tgk anak kekura wa ada bulu warna olen...

Wong Ah Beng said...

nubilemom..
sounds like fun. Is she busy tonight, say at 3:00 AM ? Do i get to kiss her? kiss kiss..

comic_girl
Gojas babe? dowann lorr..U have to.. show me.. how gojes u are first. (I still preferring to call u Orgasmic_Gurl tho.
Btw, are you Malaysian? do you have any Persian in you? would you like some?

kookaburas..
Selepas menulis ini komen, wa mau pergi SEPAMBAN.. Hanya meleka yang menghisap marlbolo sahaja tau erti nikmat sepamban..hahahah

Wong Ah Beng said...

babe..
I dunnooo..my heart is painful she dowan to come visit me again :(
I thinking maybe she still on holidays merry ho ho ho..
Ohh! btw, do you like friction?

lizam..
wa musim mengawan laa. Itu lu munyer
kekure ke kokurra cerita hantu juon tuh? Ehh..Lupa pulak..i dont do turtles ok! :P

bertique said...

beng, wa rasa aa lama2 .. ruangan tikus keji juga boleh menjadi ruangan spam :P ..

tapi aku pun hangin ler, la ni ada yg best sket .. "rahsia jutawan terbongkar" bodoh siot ..

dah pakai spamguard, shinguard semua pun depa masih boleh menggespam (hahaa) email kita ..

Wong Ah Beng said...

betik..
Uhuh..pakguard hanya boleh mengulangkan spam sahaja. Tapi wa ada idea cool mau block spam/junkmail: Lu delete lu punya email account..Wa gelenti talak spam lagi.herherher :>

bertique said...

hahahah .. siot la kucing sekor nih. eh tapi snail mail pun sudah ada spam wei skang ..

aku rasa posmen dah buat MLM jugak kot :P hahahaha

sambil menyelam minum air ngk ikan ...

Leen Ash Burn said...

Bukan spam tu haram ka?

Wong Ah Beng said...

bertik..
ahah..sila..sila..wa kucing talak leti belenang..nanti basah bulu ;P

leen..
Leen!Leen! dah apdett...yippieee!! :o

Tucin Siam said...

Lepas baca Blog tucin parsi ni buat pertama kali timbui minat nak bukak salah satu SPAM yg wujud dalam BULK folder nih...yang mana sebelum ni tak pernah pandang pun.. zaassttt! teruih delete.....

Bercakap soal SPAM... ni lah salah satu diantaranya yg paling ermm paling.. ermm ntah lah... nak aku carutkan.. kang dosa lak..

___________________________________
Subject: Find a sex-addict tonight

Hello There Bud,
I stumbled across a date-site and
I never thought that I would find soo many sex-craved singles living
beside you;P

Don't spend a second longer with expensive flowers and pointless dates
Just hook up with a hottie asap:D

It won't cost you a dime!:P so why not check it out today?
___________________________________

@#$%$^%%^%^$##$#$%#$^% khggffttt skktttss...!!!!

se'kain' tengkiu
rumbernandrey!

anisism said...

why don't you trust me???????

Wong Ah Beng said...

tucing siam..
WIN ONE MILLION DOLLARS!
Yes! You have a chance to win $1,000,000!
No Purchase Necessary. Void Where Prohibited.
:D

anisism..
why indeed....hmmm...why?! why?!


Kiss my asss!!